And Maybe That’s What Love is Too

Hazy dreams of picturesque moments.

When I close my eyes, all I can think about is that memory that slipped through my fingers in a bright stream of colors. And sometimes I chase it, want to hold it close to my heart, keep it fresh in my mind.

But it’s no use.

Because every corner of this room reminds me of your image. And when I glance at the piano, now covered in a fine layer of dust, I can still see you sitting there, fingers flying across the keys.

I close my eyes to the phantom music, let the sound wrap around me for just a moment.

That first song you ever wrote for me — that first confession I was able to receive from someone who was worth more than gold.

You wrote me into the rhythm, every note wrapping seamlessly into the next, surpassing every measure with raw emotion.

It made me breathless.

In love.

And the feeling takes me further down to scenes that you are in. Lips curled up in small smiles, your velvet voice rolling through space, every consonant foiling those vowels.

How can I forget that?

How can I forget you?

I tell myself it’s impossible — that I can’t forget even if I want. Because even if that memory has faded, it’s not entirely gone.

And though I try my hardest to continue on without you, it’s a feat I haven’t yet succeeded in finally getting done.

They say that with time, heartbreaks heal. That everything will be alright.

But I just keep telling myself that it’s not.

That you are someone I can’t let go — that because I’ve already sold my heart and soul to you, there’s no way I can erase all the pain that’s left in those empty places.

Still, I’ll try every day to grow less fond of you, let the memories grow dimmer and dimmer.

Turn the light off at the end of the day. Go to bed with you in my mind, wake to something else, and hope it works.

The sun rises only to fall down below the horizon to make way for that luminous moon, a cold and silver thing.

And maybe that’s what love is too.

#30DWC #30DWCJilid16 #Day29